Friday, January 23, 2009

Holidays

It's been awhile since I've written anything. Christmas was great. I'd like to thank everyone for the wonderful gifts they gave me! I have to admit, though---giving gifts is my favorite part of Christmas. I gave my sister Kat some Twilight memorabilia. I hope she likes it!
Ben is working towards becoming a member of the LDS Church's Security. He needs to become a policeman first in order to qualify for the Church's training program. I'm so proud of him! I got him a charcoal grill. He refuses to use it because it is too "cold." If Cliff Huxtable can do it, so can Ben. Come to think of it, so can I. Maybe I will.
Aw, meat. I'm a meatatarian. It's a lifestyle choice.
My brother Eric came to Utah for New Years. It was great too see his family. He's an awesome dad. I tried sushi for the first time. Now I can't get enough of it! Ben and I went to Temple Square to see the lights. As usual, the church really does a great job at making Chirstmas magical.
I've officially seen the movie Twilight four times. The girls at my job have seen it six times, and I have every intention of matching that. No, I'm not in competition or anything...Brahahha!
I love my job at Eisenhower Jr High. I'm getting to know some of the kids, and I think they're great. Even the little crap heads.
No, nevermind. I don't like those ones.
I have a second job now as a nanny for three wonderful kids out in Draper, which is south of Salt Lake. By like about 150 miles. Or so it seems. The boys, Thomas, Ryan and James, are just great! They are super smart and lots of fun. They like talking to me so much, I have to make them take turns! Aw, aren't people just great right before they get jaded and stop caring about what you think?
Or is that just me I'm thinking of?
Little shout out: I love you Heidi!
By the way, my sister-in-law Wende is really sick, so please remember her in your prayers! We love you Wende!
Joke of the day:

The Rules of Writing
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1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
And finally...
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

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