A bunch of shirtless, Native American guys running around. Can we say "secret fetish," people? Yes, that is basically the movie New Moon. One huge piece of eye candy. I really enjoyed it, as you can tell. Phew. Just thinking about it makes me want to check a scale to see how many pounds I've sweated off. Haha, I made a funny.
Last Friday I had a Buffy-a-thon! That's where we watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer for hours. We watched it from 3-7pm, all the while eating chocolate fondue. It was lots of fun! Props to the members of the VC!
As usual, work has been going well. I'm lucky to work with such a group of nice people. The kids are great, too. Especailly with a little salt and pepper. Maybe a dash of hot sauce. Shaken, not stirred.
I was finally able to sit down and write out two pages of outline for my new story, Essence of Rayne. I can't even tell you how good that feels. Anyone interested in checking it out? Email me at legolacey@yahoo.com
Oh, and also Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all gain weight, so I can feel better about myself. Oh, no she didn't!
The following clip totally trashe's Twilight. Ah, I just can't resist it.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/107500/saturday-night-live-digital-short-firelight
Joke of the week:
Ponderisms
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Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Vampire Club
It's official. I now have a little vampire club, consisting of a few poor souls and myself, and biggest freak of them all. Completely nerdy, right? Well, what can you do? NOT have fun? I don't think so.
This past Sat I went to my mother in laws house, Kathy, with a cooked meal and a cake and we celebrated her 21st birthday. Happy birthday, Kathy! We also watched Disney's "Up," a great little film. Not spectacular, but everyones a critic, right?
Ben has just been wonderful to me, as usual. I've totally been able to count on him to help keep the house clean. I would do the cooking, but what with my new low-carb diet going on, we just don't eat the same things anymore, so Ben won't even let me cook for him at times. Unbuuuuuuuuleavable. Sometimes I think he's way too good for me. Perhaps I'm right.
This little short below TOTALLY trashes Twilight. No worries, I'm still a die hard fan. It's good to not take yourself seriously from time to time.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DdompotjTeIA&h=17e99c43310db60ad398b2e4e078b230
Check out my new funny picture on the right!
Joke of the week:
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
This past Sat I went to my mother in laws house, Kathy, with a cooked meal and a cake and we celebrated her 21st birthday. Happy birthday, Kathy! We also watched Disney's "Up," a great little film. Not spectacular, but everyones a critic, right?
Ben has just been wonderful to me, as usual. I've totally been able to count on him to help keep the house clean. I would do the cooking, but what with my new low-carb diet going on, we just don't eat the same things anymore, so Ben won't even let me cook for him at times. Unbuuuuuuuuleavable. Sometimes I think he's way too good for me. Perhaps I'm right.
This little short below TOTALLY trashes Twilight. No worries, I'm still a die hard fan. It's good to not take yourself seriously from time to time.
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DdompotjTeIA&h=17e99c43310db60ad398b2e4e078b230
Check out my new funny picture on the right!
Joke of the week:
Actual Newspaper Headlines
Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Monday, November 9, 2009
Halloween
Happy-after-Halloween-I've-got-a-headache-from-drinking-too-much everyone! I trust I fine that everyone has survived Halloween, only to move onto the over-commericalized Holiday Season called Christmas. That's right, people. It's not this "happy holidays" crap. It's only "merry Chirstmas" around here, douncha knoooow.
This following clip is toatlly rated PG, and is appropriate for everyone to see. It's a music video of the song "Love Me Dead" from the band Ludo. It's histerical, I promise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCU1JYmGxcA
This last Halloween, I went out to my favorite Thai food place with a friend from my ward, as well as the teacher I work with. It was pleasant. That afternoon, I went to my mother-in-law's house, Kathy, and watched War of the Worlds and talked. A lot. One of the many things I love about that woman. Our ability to talk about anything for hours.
Ben and I came home earlier than planned, so we didn't have any candy to hand out to the cute kids who came by. So, instead, I handed out Weight Watchers food. Yea........."Have a healthy Halloween, kids. I know where you WON'T be going next year."
"Mommy, this food tastes funny..." "Yea, suck it up, kid. It's good fer ya." *grunt, grunt* *scratch, scratch*
Work has been going well, even though I've been given even MORE assignments to do, but oh well. What can I say? No? Yea, I actually like being employed, thank you very much.
I have lost my nanny job. They found someone else who can work all the hours they need. That's ok, I feel relieved. Now I have more time to write my new book, and just have fun!
Great news...My best friend from high school, Melissa, came by for dinner last night. She is such a doll! I love her more than ever. What a blessing to have her in my life.
I have disovered some things about my health that are not so great...one of my medications has caused me to be borderline diabetic. Also, my iron levels are low. So, I am now on a low carb diet, with plans to join a gym. I will change me medication at the end of the month, and I take iron suppliments and eat a spinach salad every night. Whew. Just what I need, more problems...but that's ok, because life goes on, and my health problems aren't totally serious yet.
Joke of the week: Also, check out the new picture on the right!
The Stella Awards
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It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners:
7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
6th Place: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place: This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
This following clip is toatlly rated PG, and is appropriate for everyone to see. It's a music video of the song "Love Me Dead" from the band Ludo. It's histerical, I promise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCU1JYmGxcA
This last Halloween, I went out to my favorite Thai food place with a friend from my ward, as well as the teacher I work with. It was pleasant. That afternoon, I went to my mother-in-law's house, Kathy, and watched War of the Worlds and talked. A lot. One of the many things I love about that woman. Our ability to talk about anything for hours.
Ben and I came home earlier than planned, so we didn't have any candy to hand out to the cute kids who came by. So, instead, I handed out Weight Watchers food. Yea........."Have a healthy Halloween, kids. I know where you WON'T be going next year."
"Mommy, this food tastes funny..." "Yea, suck it up, kid. It's good fer ya." *grunt, grunt* *scratch, scratch*
Work has been going well, even though I've been given even MORE assignments to do, but oh well. What can I say? No? Yea, I actually like being employed, thank you very much.
I have lost my nanny job. They found someone else who can work all the hours they need. That's ok, I feel relieved. Now I have more time to write my new book, and just have fun!
Great news...My best friend from high school, Melissa, came by for dinner last night. She is such a doll! I love her more than ever. What a blessing to have her in my life.
I have disovered some things about my health that are not so great...one of my medications has caused me to be borderline diabetic. Also, my iron levels are low. So, I am now on a low carb diet, with plans to join a gym. I will change me medication at the end of the month, and I take iron suppliments and eat a spinach salad every night. Whew. Just what I need, more problems...but that's ok, because life goes on, and my health problems aren't totally serious yet.
Joke of the week: Also, check out the new picture on the right!
The Stella Awards
mark as unread
It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Here are this year's winners:
7th Place: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
6th Place: 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place: Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place: This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
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