Hip hip huzzah! Meine liebe is back! Poor Ben has worked so hard at his day job and at the Fair, his feet were bleeding when I massaged his tootsies a few days ago. What a great, hard working guy! And when I came home today, the dishes were done and he was cooking dinner. Where did he drop from, heaven??? Ouch. Hard landing.
I now have 3, count that, 3 freakin jobs. I work as a Teacher's Aid, and as a nanny, and now I work after school as well. I stinkin live at Redwood Elementary. I know what you're thinking...la-di-freakin-dah, she works 3 jobs. Well, I'm a bit stressed, but it's good for me to be so busy. I feel better, mentally, that way. My friend at work job me a huge Dr. Pepper, and I totally needed the sugar and caffeine to keep me going. I even offered some of it to the teacher I work with, Amanda. She gratefully took a few sips. I'm not a germaphobe or anything, so it's no biggie.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Boo-hoo!
Ben is working at the Utah State Fair, as well as his usual day job (offing gophers with a shot gun...man I'm jealous) for the rest of this week. Boo-hoo! I'm so alone!
Not really alone...I still have peeps to hang with. So I'd like to thank all the individuals who hang out with me in my pathetic, I-can't-stand-being-alone stage. Don't worry, I'll get over it. Someday. So, in the meantime, I eat whatever I want...not that Ben holds me back or anything. It's just that I know he doesn't like cereal for dinner every night. Something about proper nutrition, I don't know. But still, it's great eating breakfast foods every night, especially since I have to do the dishes now. Yep, just a bowl and a spoon for me!
That's right, people. Ben always does all the dishes for me. Isn't he great? I'm UNBULEAVABLY lazy. I do have a good excuse for my laziness, though. Just give me a second to think of one....nope. Fresh out of lame-butt excuses. How about it, anyone? Anyone want to make up an excuse for me? Oh, I've got it. I'm busy pursuing my career as an author. Yea, that's a good one. Makes me sound so serious and motivated...so un-me.
Seriously, though, I just found out that I have a good reputation at work. Wow. I've worked have for that, so that is a nice compliment. Life is going good. Warning: The following joke is a little off beat. Enjoy!
Joke of the day:
top 50 childrens book that didnt quite work
mark as unread
1. You are Different and That’s Bad
2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book:
6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. How to Kick Ass At School
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Adoption: A Fresh Start
13. Grandpa's new Casket
14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. Why You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes Froggy, And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Have More Fun
36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
39. Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer
41. I Am My Own Grandpa
42. Who’s My Daddy?
43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent
44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP
47. Little Hands, Big Toasters
48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink
Not really alone...I still have peeps to hang with. So I'd like to thank all the individuals who hang out with me in my pathetic, I-can't-stand-being-alone stage. Don't worry, I'll get over it. Someday. So, in the meantime, I eat whatever I want...not that Ben holds me back or anything. It's just that I know he doesn't like cereal for dinner every night. Something about proper nutrition, I don't know. But still, it's great eating breakfast foods every night, especially since I have to do the dishes now. Yep, just a bowl and a spoon for me!
That's right, people. Ben always does all the dishes for me. Isn't he great? I'm UNBULEAVABLY lazy. I do have a good excuse for my laziness, though. Just give me a second to think of one....nope. Fresh out of lame-butt excuses. How about it, anyone? Anyone want to make up an excuse for me? Oh, I've got it. I'm busy pursuing my career as an author. Yea, that's a good one. Makes me sound so serious and motivated...so un-me.
Seriously, though, I just found out that I have a good reputation at work. Wow. I've worked have for that, so that is a nice compliment. Life is going good. Warning: The following joke is a little off beat. Enjoy!
Joke of the day:
top 50 childrens book that didnt quite work
mark as unread
1. You are Different and That’s Bad
2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book:
6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. How to Kick Ass At School
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Adoption: A Fresh Start
13. Grandpa's new Casket
14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. Why You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes Froggy, And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Have More Fun
36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
39. Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer
41. I Am My Own Grandpa
42. Who’s My Daddy?
43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent
44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP
47. Little Hands, Big Toasters
48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink
Saturday, September 5, 2009
School...
Life is crazy busy most times...what with two jobs and all. But life isgood. I just got back in touch with an old friend Melissa Chung...It's awesome. She's a great friend from the old days of attending Las Vegas Academy.
I am quite occupied at Redwood Elementary. I don't care what other people think of 6th graders...they are fantastic. I love working with them. The teacher I work with, Ms. Thompson, is fun and kind. Most of the staff at the school is nice, and I enjoy talking with them. It's theraputic. Especially when I want to take some students and stuff them into the ventallation shafts. Just some of them. Most are great.
My other job is going ok too...it will take a little while for the kids to adjust to me again, but I'm sure things will work out well.
Joke of the day:
The Great Debate
mark as unread
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.
The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."
"And then?" asked a woman.
"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."
I am quite occupied at Redwood Elementary. I don't care what other people think of 6th graders...they are fantastic. I love working with them. The teacher I work with, Ms. Thompson, is fun and kind. Most of the staff at the school is nice, and I enjoy talking with them. It's theraputic. Especially when I want to take some students and stuff them into the ventallation shafts. Just some of them. Most are great.
My other job is going ok too...it will take a little while for the kids to adjust to me again, but I'm sure things will work out well.
Joke of the day:
The Great Debate
mark as unread
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.
The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."
"And then?" asked a woman.
"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."
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