The Movie is out!

Go see Twilight, people! I'm sure it's a good movie. NO, I haven't seen it yet, but I intend to. Plus, listen to their signature song, Decode by Paramore. It rocks! To answer some questions asked by an anonymous commenter (Who are you , bty?): The picture of the woman on top is my best friend in Cedar City, Heidi Baxley. She freakin rocks! LeRoy, the person who created the pictures, is my best friend in California. I've known them both for many years now, and depend on them for ALL OF MY EMOTIONALLY NEEDS. Just kidding. Ben does that.
You think I'm kidding about that? Just ask the poor fellow. You know, I MADE him marry me. I promised lots of money, and...you know. Obviously, he said yes.
Do you think he gets what he wants?
Ask him.
Today we are celebrating Wes Roberts's birthday! Happy birthday to ya, man. You're awesome!
I had to shelve and re alphabetize books in the library yesterday at work. OMGoodness, it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring! I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. I'm the kind of person who needs to be busier than that. Know what I mean?
Joke of the moment:

Divorce Letter !!

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life! > Your EX-Wife

*********************************************************** ********************************

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!