Life is nothin but a fat rat race

Life is nothin...it is nothin...but a kick in the face...life is nothin...it is nothin...life is nothin but a fat rat race!
Quote from the movie Rat Race...check it out!
I finished my paper early on the movie The Last Samurai, like a nerd. I wrote about ritual suicide, and other samurai traditions. Who came up with that one? I think I'll just stick this here kaniffy in my belly and see what comes of it.
Wait.
Where am I going and what's with this handbasket?
*evil laugh*
I emailed it to my professor, and he didn't have any suggestions. Yea! I love Sacred Rituals. Except for my stupid magic and witchcraft book. Freakin tree humpers and animal sacrificers. Well, not that I have a problem with sacrificing chickens, or porkers, or mooers, or anything that goes to the Lacey's Stomach Foundation. Anyone can make a donation anytime Mon-Fri 9am-5pm. Come to think of it, I think you're all past due. I accept cash only, so you'll have to visit me in person to donate to the worthy cause. I swear it's worth it.
To me.
Now, here is a quote from my book:
"You're a figging vampire!" Sabeen hissed angrily into [Darien's] ear. "Of course I'm terrified to go out with you! I hunt your kind. You. Are. The. Enemy." She finished off in clipped words.
A little bit of dramatics for ya. Now, for my jokeofthemoment:
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing nearby. He asked the woman, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The woman replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my husband did.'

Point for women.
Ok, so I may have modified the joke a bit.