Ben is back!

Hip hip huzzah! Meine liebe is back! Poor Ben has worked so hard at his day job and at the Fair, his feet were bleeding when I massaged his tootsies a few days ago. What a great, hard working guy! And when I came home today, the dishes were done and he was cooking dinner. Where did he drop from, heaven??? Ouch. Hard landing.

I now have 3, count that, 3 freakin jobs. I work as a Teacher's Aid, and as a nanny, and now I work after school as well. I stinkin live at Redwood Elementary. I know what you're thinking...la-di-freakin-dah, she works 3 jobs. Well, I'm a bit stressed, but it's good for me to be so busy. I feel better, mentally, that way. My friend at work job me a huge Dr. Pepper, and I totally needed the sugar and caffeine to keep me going. I even offered some of it to the teacher I work with, Amanda. She gratefully took a few sips. I'm not a germaphobe or anything, so it's no biggie.

Boo-hoo!

Ben is working at the Utah State Fair, as well as his usual day job (offing gophers with a shot gun...man I'm jealous) for the rest of this week. Boo-hoo! I'm so alone!
Not really alone...I still have peeps to hang with. So I'd like to thank all the individuals who hang out with me in my pathetic, I-can't-stand-being-alone stage. Don't worry, I'll get over it. Someday. So, in the meantime, I eat whatever I want...not that Ben holds me back or anything. It's just that I know he doesn't like cereal for dinner every night. Something about proper nutrition, I don't know. But still, it's great eating breakfast foods every night, especially since I have to do the dishes now. Yep, just a bowl and a spoon for me!
That's right, people. Ben always does all the dishes for me. Isn't he great? I'm UNBULEAVABLY lazy. I do have a good excuse for my laziness, though. Just give me a second to think of one....nope. Fresh out of lame-butt excuses. How about it, anyone? Anyone want to make up an excuse for me? Oh, I've got it. I'm busy pursuing my career as an author. Yea, that's a good one. Makes me sound so serious and motivated...so un-me.
Seriously, though, I just found out that I have a good reputation at work. Wow. I've worked have for that, so that is a nice compliment. Life is going good. Warning: The following joke is a little off beat. Enjoy!
Joke of the day:

top 50 childrens book that didnt quite work
mark as unread
1. You are Different and That’s Bad
2. Take a Walk Down the Railroad Tracks with Me
3. Dad’s New Wife ‘Greg’
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It" Book:
6. A Children's Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. How to Kick Ass At School
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. Adoption: A Fresh Start
13. Grandpa's new Casket
14. Fun With Abandoned Refrigerators
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
19. Why You Were An Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes Froggy, And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
23. Nightmares: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
24. A Child's Guide to Final Arrangments
25. Eggs, Toilet paper, and your School
26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!
31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet
32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road
33. You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
34. Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
35. Bullies Have More Fun
36. Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
37. Timmy’s The Wrong Color To Be Your Friend
38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy
39. Michael Jackson’s “Fun” Place
40. Harry Potter and the Stoned Sorcerer
41. I Am My Own Grandpa
42. Who’s My Daddy?
43. Fatherhood: A Guide for the Adolescent
44. Small Objects and Electrical Outlets
45. Different Daddies Each Day of the Week
46. Operation and Nomenclature of the Colt 1911-A1 .45 ACP
47. Little Hands, Big Toasters
48. How To Make A Plastic Bag Space Helmet
49. Santa Claus And Other Lies Your Parents Told You
50. Fun With Things Under The Kitchen Sink

School...

Life is crazy busy most times...what with two jobs and all. But life isgood. I just got back in touch with an old friend Melissa Chung...It's awesome. She's a great friend from the old days of attending Las Vegas Academy.
I am quite occupied at Redwood Elementary. I don't care what other people think of 6th graders...they are fantastic. I love working with them. The teacher I work with, Ms. Thompson, is fun and kind. Most of the staff at the school is nice, and I enjoy talking with them. It's theraputic. Especially when I want to take some students and stuff them into the ventallation shafts. Just some of them. Most are great.
My other job is going ok too...it will take a little while for the kids to adjust to me again, but I'm sure things will work out well.
Joke of the day:
The Great Debate
mark as unread
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.
The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle aged man named Moishe to represent them. Moishe asked for one addition to the debate. To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"
Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe.
"What happened?" they asked.
"Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."
"And then?" asked a woman.
"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

Funerals

Just to answer the poll I had going to the side here...What is my book about? The answer is 'intergalactic vampires.' Thank you to those who participated.
So I have just returned from the second funeral in two weeks. The first time was in Cedar City, and the second was in Las Vegas. What an emotional rollercoaster. My sympathies to the families.
On a happier note, I have had an opportuniy to see much of my wonderful close and extended family. I love them all so much. It was so nice to see Gary, Jeremy, Wende and Heather. What stupendous people. I won the family lottery.
And a quick shout out to my old friend, who is practically my brother, Jason Linebarger. He paid for Ben and I to go and see the Titanic Exibition. Thanks, Jason! It was a really emotional exibition, and really well put together. It's also haunted. Brahahahaha!
Our computer is fixed and back! I don't know if my flashdrive is compatable, so I can write on the laptop, but I will find out tomorrow. Cross your fingers, people!
I had my orientation for my job as a Teacher's Aid at Redwood Elementary today. I LOVE my boss. She is so kind and intelligent. The whole crew of workers all seem so pleasant... I look forward to working with them!
Joke of the day:
A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.
While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic !
1. Don't change horses .......until they stop running.
2. Strike while the .............................bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before ......Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of ............termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ........how?
6. Don't bite the hand that .................looks dirty.
7. No news is ..........................................impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a ............Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ..............stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust .............. me.
12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.
13. An idle mind is .............the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.
15. Happy the bride who ............gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ......................not much.
17. Two's company, three's .............. the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ...........you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ...............spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed .........get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you .......see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind .... get out of the way.
And the WINNER and the last one...
25. Better late than .............pregnant! __._,_.___

A Day Off

I was off of work yesterday. I mostly just took it easy (you can tell these are pre-kids days). Heidi got my computer fixed! Thanks Heidi! She will probably have it mailed to me this week. Good thing, too, because I am going crazy without being able to work on my story! Know what I mean? You just think of something over and over again...but there is nothing you can do about it. Arguh! It's like wanting the Cubs to win. (That one was for my father...a huge Cubs fan)
We went to a neighborhood block party last night. It was nice to meet with the locals, as well as the law enforcement and firepeople that came to visit. Ben and I arew big fans of people who work those kind of jobs. They are the real heroes. I met up with my friend Renee, and she is working on reading my book. She said many kind things about it, and she gave me much encouragement. I really appreciate people like that in my life.
I'd like to dedicate this blog to my cousin Jason McDonald, who passed away recently. May God watch over the entire McDonald clan.
Joke of the day: Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
People, don't forget to vote on my question to the right>>>>

Long time, no see...

Hello people! Crap, it's been a long time. Not that my life is essential to anyone's well-being or anything. So here is how things are going now. I am nannying two wonderful kids, Ashley (6) and Brandon (9). They are good kids, and are super easy to watch. We go swimming nearly every day, and I try to take them to the park or somewhere every morning. We have lots of fun. The parents are easy going and treat me like family. Aw, it's going good. I have recently finished writing my book, Fighting Alias, and a good friend of mine is editing it for me. I just hope I can handle being told it's crap! Still, women are telling me that they enjoy the romance and the fighting scenes. Goooooooood, goooooooooood.
Here is my quote of the day: Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Nothing personal...lol.
Everyone check out my facebook page under Lacey Batson. Love ya!

Conference

Hello everyone! A number of weeks ago, I went to Idaho with my sister Kat to visit Jamie Black, my adopted brother, and his family. They are such wonderful people, I love them sooooooooooo much! Dad flew in as well, and I had a good time picking on him, oops, I mean talking to him. Really, he is a great sport, and I love to tease him when I can. I'm not the only one who likes to tease; Jamie is hilarious, and enjoys teasing his sisters when he can. In the morning, I asked if the shower was available, and he said no! He told me that I had to use a hose slung over a tree in the back yard instead. What a kidder!
Work has been going well. I have been having fun socializing with my peers at work. The teachers and staff at Eisenhower JrH are amazing! I have been enjoying nannying the boys as well. They have been very well behaved for me; I am so proud of them! I got them a treat last week, and they were so happy about it and appreciative! I can't wait to take them all kinds of places this summer!
Conference is this weekend; I have been listening religiously (pun intended) to it. I love hearing the advice and encouragement from the leaders for the church! It's so great that we are led by such steady and pure-hearted people!
I'd like to dedicate this section to a good friend of mine named Barbara. I visit her every Sunday, and she is a great friend to me. She is a strong-minded, faithful, kind person, and I love her very much! Thank you, Barbara, for being a loyal and encouraging friend. My life is better because I know you.
Ok, people, have a great week!
Joke of the day:

Things To Do On An Elevator
mark as unread
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.